i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize