I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
