I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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