I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
