the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
