erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
