it wasn't lemon gatorade
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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