She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
