is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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