Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
