Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize