He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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