I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
