Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
