im about as happy as oj after his trial
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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