y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you didnt know i had herpes?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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