So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
this hospital has no fireball
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
