So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
