I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i will never coherently bang her
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Randomize
