At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize