Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
