i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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