she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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