Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Randomize
