this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
