he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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