My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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