I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
