yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
we're so committed to being not committed
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
