In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
that's an acceptable place to lick
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize