I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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