True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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