my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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