The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
