I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
