We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize