What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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