Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
