dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I am mentally ready for anal.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
