I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize