I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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