How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
