Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my shit smells like andre
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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