why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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