"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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