Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
