Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
