WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
