I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
