I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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