I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
