Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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