This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
