I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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