Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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