SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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