This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
