Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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