I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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