you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
