Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
