Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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