after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
