STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
