that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
