I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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