theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
