i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
