11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
