Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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