Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
