Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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