I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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