dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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