How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
